STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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