had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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