You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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