Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
