we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
