so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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