umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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