I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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