Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
