I think my vagina is haunted
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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