I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
