my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
