the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
