My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
