i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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