She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have fence marks all over my body
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
