Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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