i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
