im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
