Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
