It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
