The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We had to coat check the pizza.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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