Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
