Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
