I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize