I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
third nipple confirmed
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
