ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
