Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
