the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
