I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
