I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
