She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Do vagina's smell?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
