I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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