So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
And then he peed in my hair
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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