I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize