we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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