Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
