i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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