they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it glows. i had to have it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize