i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
