You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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