marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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