you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The uberlube is also flammable
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize