So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
