I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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