So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
