paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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