this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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