come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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