Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
