so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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