They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
