My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
