the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
