Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize