I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
