i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
