I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
