Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
