Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize