I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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