why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just want nice things and good sex
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
