I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
