I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize